It hurts to think I never really knew you at all when I convinced myself I knew you better than anyone else.
365 Days of Gratitude: Day 13
Today, I am grateful for self confidence and for friends who listen to me complain about my roommates for hours on end!
Self Confidence: I went to private school for 9 years and the dress code was one where our shorts had to be a certain length and our shirts had to conceal our cleavage, etc. I hated it at the time because I was a rebellious brat, but looking back on it, it gave me this idea that because my boobs are bigger than most people’s were, and are, that I shouldn’t show them, that I should never show my legs because it sends the wrong impression, that to be respected, I need to cover myself up, that I lost the privilege to express myself in a way. I think a part of that stuck with me through high school because I never felt that comfortable wearing shorts, but ever since I arrived in LA 12 days ago, I have worn shorts every day. I have showed my legs loudly and proudly, and I don’t feel ashamed or self conscious because my thighs touch, because the upper parts of my thighs arent cleanly shaved, whatever.
I have gained such a more positive view of my body ever since I got here simply because 1) it’s too hot to wear anything but shorts and 2) anyone who cares what my legs look like in shorts are people I do not need in my life and for the record, I have amazing calf muscles, they are defined and muscular and tan ;)
I’m feeling really good about myself these days. I’m getting closer to people. I’m trying to put myself out there, I am loving the shopping LA offers and I am loving my history class, it’s mind-blowing.
I’m hoping tomorrow will bring me peace and a clear mind! Happy September!